My boyfriend is a total puppy. But before you get the wrong idea, you have to know two things.
1. I don’t mean “puppy” as in he follows me around hopelessly and blindly does everything I ever demand, because that’d be boring and dumb and who wants a boring, dumb relationship? Not me.
2. He suggested this article and helped me draft it, so I’m not writing to humiliate him against his will.
No, I mean my boyfriend may or may not be part (or entirely) golden retriever. And maybe, if this headline caught your eye and got you reading, it’s because you’ve been thinking the same thing. If so, I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone. Or to convince myself that I’m not alone. Either way, I’ve compiled a few key warning signs that, I hope, will confirm your suspicions that you too are, in fact, caught in the spell of puppy love (aha, punny).
He naps frequently.
And on what seems like any available surface. Though this isn’t uncommon for boys, or teenagers for that matter, it’s just a question of “How does he do it?” Well, truthfully I don’t have an answer. I don’t know how he does it. But he does, and that in itself is an adorably drool-y little marvel. Can’t you see the resemblance?
His stomach seems like a bottomless pit.
Not only another “How does he do it?” but also a “Where does it all go?!” He seems to eat and eat and eat, and yet, he’s still hungry a few minutes later. At the rate he’s going, a bag of puppy chow might just be a smarter investment than any attempt at a nice dinner (especially when you know he’ll still be starving after either one).
He makes taking a nice picture nearly impossible.
Or at least incredibly difficult. Try as you might, he will blink. Or open his mouth. Or make a face. Or move. And then you will have to try again. And he will get restless and continue with the blinking and the talking and the faces and the moving, and it becomes a painful ordeal that was much longer than you (and he) ever wanted it to be.
He needs constant attention and affection.
Otherwise he gets hopelessly bored or into trouble. Though he probably doesn’t dig through a trash can or chew on your sandals like a new puppy might (let’s hope), he does seem to get himself into some sort of mischief if you leave him in charge of himself for a few minutes too long. Usually spilling, breaking, dropping or losing something.
He’ll make his own entertainment if he can’t find anything else.
When he gets bored or doesn’t have your undivided attention, he’ll make his own fun Everything becomes a toy until you can get it out of his hands: food, games, hair ties, trash. His creativity can get messy, but it can make for some cute photo-ops.
He is the BEST thing that’s ever happened to you.
From cuddles and kisses to all the crazy memories in between, there’s no denying that he makes every day a little brighter. He’s made your best days better and your bad days bearable. And there’s no denying that he’s adorable. He’s loyal, protective, loving and playful. Every day with him is an adventure. And that’s not something you’d trade for anything. Not for ALL the functional and non-blurry pictures in the world.
